“You are enough.”
Hi loves! Lately I’ve been thinking about the quote above, and how untrue that sometimes feels for all of us. Especially with the colder weather and feeling cooped up and more antsy, my list making has been outrageous. Making plans and 5 year goals and putting more and more activities on my plate. Of course, some of this is a really positive thing. It keeps you motivated, on track, and fiery. But when you need to be planning and doing because you think things will be “better” or “happier” after these future plans happen, that’s when we need to start pondering the lack of acceptance for yourself and your current situation.
And I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about why we do this, what is is we are searching for or needing, why the idea of being content and accepting within the present moment is so difficult for human beings. Why must we hold ourselves to such high standards, feeling as though we are not enough, or are less of a person if we are not always busy, productive, or planning for the future? I struggle a lot with allowing myself to watch random reruns of shows without doing something I consider “productive” like knitting or reading. The endless need to feel productive and worthy takes away from the ability to be present, mindful, accepting, and self-loving. Who are we trying to prove ourselves to? And after all this thinking about it, I still do not have an answer. I cannot figure out this concept of not feeling enough. Perhaps it has something to do with going to school, preparing for high school, and then college, and maybe graduate school, and then…. you’re here. You’re at the point we’ve been prepped for. And then… that’s it. Perhaps being productive and busy is an attempt to continue working towards something and progressing. Which is of course really great, when thinking about job promotions, new experiences and opportunities. But when it gets in the way of happiness, not so great.
Moving forward, remember the notion of rather focusing on how it looks, focus on how it feels. Your life may look perfect and ideal to outsiders, but the more you present as perfect, the more walls you put around yourself and it may lead to a really isolating mental space. Does it truly matter if others see your fancy job title or your new DIY project if you yourself don’t feel grateful and accepting of it? When you feel somewhat empty and disengaged from your life, you are unable to enjoy the plans you have for yourself. Rather than focusing on how your life appears to others — with the filters and the booked calendar and the active social life; focus on how your life is feeling. Cherish the mindful walk you take in the cold winter snow. Light candles for the pure enjoyment of arousing a different scent. Allow yourself to sit peacefully, without the mind racing to the next item on the to-do list. And then that’s when everything will fall into place. You will be so joyful and so in love with your life that you will want to start putting more things on your plate, making more plans, and reaching for new goals — because it is now coming from a place of excitement and love, rather than a place of self-punishment or anxiety about the future. When you focus on how life feels, your zest for life and enjoyment of the little things will come flooding back to you, which is the most valuable feeling on this planet.
And how you can do this comes back to the idea of mindfulness, and trusting yourself. Being present, knowing that you can allow yourself to relax and take a break, which will rejuvenate you to be even more present and engaged in the end. And recognizing there is no race to the finish end, you are not competing against anyone, including yourself. Everyone is on their own journey and path; accept and fall in love with yours.
Why do you think so many of us feel like we’re not enough as we are?
(images are from Google)