The Golden Rule

“When you do talk about yourself, or talk to yourself… try to picture you talking to your own daughter, or your younger sister. Because you would tell your younger sister or your daughter that she is beautiful, and you wouldn’t be lying. Because she is. And so are you.” ~Amy Poehler

Hi wellness lovelies! I realized that I didn’t truly address the core meaning behind happiness. I believe being truly happy is when you feel like your soul has been set on fire, and you’re filled with so much drive to live your life, engage in your connections and relationships, find your passions and what feels natural for you to spend time doing. It’s when you can smile to yourself, look around at where you are in life, and be content where you are at that given moment. It’s the feeling of giving your life a pat on the back and thinking, “heck yeah, this is going pretty well.” It’s not about feeling perfect or believing that everything has to be perfect, because as we all know, that is unrealistic and sets us up for failure and disappointment. And it’s okay if these feelings of gratitude aren’t fully present all the time. They won’t be, because we’re human. So when you do have those moments where the warm feelings of joy wash over you like a lavender bubble bath, smile, breathe into it, and remember the feeling so you know to look forward to it again.

I was recently thinking about The Golden Rule. When you’re in kindergarten, your parents make you repeat it until you can say it backwards and upside down, it’s the sentence your teachers first have you write, you probably even have some temporary tattoos that say it that you put all over your body.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

What a valuable statement. Those nine words hold a lot of weight, and influence many choices and decisions daily. But what about the people who give and give and give, do not take time to rest or soothe themselves, who act as emotional support for others but do not ask or receive any in return? Are they getting treated the way they’re treating others? Most likely not. And I’m willing to bet that many of you say awfully mean things to yourself that you would never say to someone else. You would most likely not tell a friend that they aren’t worthy of a positive relationship, or that he is dumb, or that she obviously did not get the job she interviewed for. So why do we treat ourselves in such a negative way? Is it because we deserve it, or can handle it, or because it will in some way benefit us? This negative dialogue within each and every one of us is incredibly normal, incredibly painful, and does a lot more harm than good.  We learn that thinking and saying kind statements about ourselves means we’re cocky, full of ourselves, leaving no room for improvement. I want to challenge that statement, and say that being kind to ourselves leads the foundation for being able to be a more valuable, fully present support for others. So for those of you who fall into a pattern of treating others like royalty and treating yourself like a pauper, I would like you to switch the golden rule around a bit to say I must treat myself the way I treat others.

To wrap up, I wanted to share with you all something that happened in my spin class today. It was at a studio where most of the lights are off and it really feels like it’s just you, your body, and the bicycle. During a particularly sweaty part, the teacher told us to close our eyes, because we don’t need to look in the mirror to know or see that we are beautiful, that we are strong, that we are enough. I’m the embarrassing person who started to tear up as she said that, but all tears aside she is 100% correct. I want you all to think about what it would mean to you and what it would be like if you did believe that you are beautiful, that you are strong, and that you are enough.

Was there ever a time when you did believe one or all of those statements? Do you believe them now?

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